And in the Course of Awesome Events

“Brevity is the soul of wit.”

While Shakespeare was definitely not running through Augustus’s head as he, according to legend, truncated the monumental two days that ended February. For in his vain pride, he had already fatally erred. Instead of proving himself superior to the trivial 31-day month of Julius, he had shattered the echelon of the seasons. The moribund firebird that was February now arose to the zenith of the tower in a transcendent flame of brevity. He became more than wit. He was the soul of the seasons, the coming of ages, the cycle of birth and re-birth. And yet his rise was inevitable; the least aged of his kin, his awesome character as already fated him above his senile, decrepit competitors.

The lawful reign of February was, like itself, a brief one, albeit its grip over the years has never loosened. For where February is abundant in brilliance and intellectual aptitude, he is outnumbered twenty-eight to three hundred thirty-seven. His strength—sheer deadly briefness, also proved to be his weakness. But where others would have faltered, February blazed on in spite of the obstacles that faced him. Opposition against the ruler mounted, culminating in the full moon assassination plot, when backed by lunatic monarch’s peak power, February was to be torn from the ultimate throne and castigated into the dark pits of doomsday. But the brilliantly concocted plan met its more brilliant failure, and the unthinkable: February, in a feat of brilliant contortion, squeezed through the brazen gold catalogue of dates without encountering a single full moon. Furious, February declared himself dictator, and he was on the verge of ridding himself of the pestilent months that plagued him. But he did not. The epic hero needed an enemy, an adversary, no matter how weak and defenceless.

But the fall was to happen. Like the heroes of the epic, the romantic, he had to fail. It did not happen. The foolish mortals thoughtlessly reformed the calendar. Equality was declared, and the mortals treated the months as equals. The rule of February was now mere symbolism as its importance was forgotten by countless mortals, and with the Romans now gone, its revival seemed improbable. Calendars were created in which February was no longer emblazoned in gold, and worst of all, the number scholars finally done away with the royal throne and the palace completely, devising devious algorithms to ascertain the day of the week of any given date. Furious, but slowly drained of its power, February threw in his masterstroke, and with his seven advisors, Monday to Sunday, controlled the mortal Pope Gregory XII, and abandoned the leap day of every century undividable by twenty score. The mortals were stalled, as many were thrown to the heavens, arrogantly measuring the passage of the stellar bodies.

And to this day, February still reigns, mostly forgotten by the mortals. But that is now immaterial. February has complete power, and he sits unassailable on his throne. But his influence is not unfelt in the world of mortals. The Februarians form the elite class of mortals, lead by Rossini the leapling. The awesomeness cycle reaches its peak each February; no matter how hard we try, the scintillating flames of the Februarian rule will never be overshadowed.

Perhaps now would be a convenient time, as a formality, to welcome you, dear reader, to this blog. It is an undeniable fact that this blog, created in the awesome month of February, should also carry on the Mariana-like symbolic and tangible radiance of grandeur. For while those more simple-minded should fail to understand the significance of this month, we here dedicate this post to the pursuit of awesomeness.

Long live February!