Siege of the Himatz

The following was supposed to be the foundation for a novel. You can be thankful that I gave up.

Story (alternates first person limited and third person omniscient, of knowledge degree four at infinite focus zoom sixth)

Characters:

Inventor - Archimedes
Narrator - me. (General Marl)
Others - Read the story.

Archimedes, a idiosyncratic genius, and really strange, military weapon specialist and inventor working for the nation of Latzov, was kidnapped by Casnian spies while drawing up blueprints for an unrevealed super-weapon. Taken to the capital Latzov, Archimedes voluntarily assists the Casnians, finishing up the super-weapon.

King of Latzov (come up with a good name that sounds Russian) learns of the kidnapping. He is informed by General Marl and his strategists that Archimedes's super-weapon would take a year to construct, and that they should quickly attack Casnia and take Archimedes back before the weapon is constructed. General Marl, commander of the third army, and some other random general and commander people were commanded to send an invasion force to Casnia.

Marl and the other generals discuss the invasion plan. (which is a good device for the author to reveal some random stuff about geography: Casnia is a large island nation (larger than Australia), with a smaller island due north (separated by the Sea of no name), a province of Casnia, Avovia, that is abundant in amusement parks and ice cream. Marl and the generals, distracted, draw up plans to attack Casnia to obtain large quantities of ice cream and to transport the amusement parks back to Latzov, enhancing their tourism industry.

The Siege of the small island Avovia began, but they met fierce resistance. The Avovians possessed strange weapons, and it was noticed that much of their machinery had rather useless orange rings painted on them and the letters LPX embossed on them. When Avovia was finally taken, the amusment parks, much to the disappointment of the Latzovians, were destroyed by the warfare, and the ice cream melted by firestorms. The seige took one year.

Archimedes falls in love with a Casnian spy, Cynthia (make up a more original name later). In their dialogue, it is revealed the Archimedes had a strange obsession of having orange rings painted over his inventions and embossing random letters onto them. Also, the super-weapon was ready. The Prime Minister of Casnia congratulates Archimedes, although he fails to understand why.

The Casnians struck back at Avovia with their full navy. One of the vessels was a super-carrier, a hundred times larger than a conventional carrier with a top area of near a square kilometre (a floating island, the Latzovians called it). An aerial view shows the orange ring painted on all the air strips and the letters LPX. A proud telegram came from the Casnians, telling the Latzovians to surrender to their "unsinkable Himatz", referring to the super-carrier.

The Latzovians launch a bomber fleet over the Himatz, but large parabolic mirrors were deployed against the fleet, blinding them and melting the wings of some of the bombers. The bombs that were dropped exploded in mid-air, hit by precisely aimed pressure waves from sound cannons on the Himatz. Meanwhile, the 42-inch guns of the Himatz wreaked havoc on the navy of the Latzovians.

A stealth submarine, piloted by a squadron of people, were sent on a mission to destroy the Himatz. The people on the submarine mission obviously did not take the mission seriously, playing chess on board. When they had assumed position underneath the Himatz, the group suddenly turned its attention to a nearby octopus, and started making sketches of it. The Himatz quickly picked up the submarine on sonar. Extending a claw into the ocean, it stirred up a vortex, drawing the submarine out from underneath the Himtaz before droping depth charges. Both ballast tanks were taken out and a leak was sprung, and the submarine began to sink. After a futile attempt to bail out (accompanied by an interesting discussion on bailouts in general), the group settle down into a last game of chess, the moves of which were radioed back to the panicking Latzovians.

Meanwhile, in Casnia, the Prime Minister tells Archimedes of the successes of his weapons. Archimedes was horrified, as he did not realize that his drawings would actually be built and put to use, as in his words "I'm an artist! Do you not appreciate my drawings?!" The Prime Minister, failing to understand him, compliments him on his good sense of humour and leaves. Archimedes was now terrified, that everything he was drawing was being used against his own nation, but if he was to suddenly refuse to design, he would likely be killed. Distraught, he walked around the halls of the parliament building and saw a vase of flowers; unimpressed, he begins drawing a super-vase, which he gives to Cynthia. Understanding his troubles, Cynthia agreed to help him deliver mesasges to the Latzovians, as she was a spy.

The Latzovians receives Archimedes message, pinpointing the weaknesses of the Himatz. However, General Marl claims that such a plan would be too boring, and decides on a parachute invasion of the Himatz, which was delayed a day due to clear weather. On the day of the invasion, a thick fog had set in, and smoke bombs were deployed over the Himatz. Troops then poured out of overhead planes and helicopters in a massive aerial invasion of a single ship. Archimedes, upon hearing this news, asked Cynthia to help him escape. Cynthia decided to go along with Archimedes, "leaving the wretched land of Casnia". Secretly sending a radio message to Latzovia, telling them of Archimedes' planned escape. An hour after they had left, the Casnians discovered Archimedes missing, and sent out a fleet of planes after them. Not far from mainland Casnia, this fleet met with a Latzovian fleet that was sent to receive and escort Archimedes, although neither fleet located Cynthia's plane. A brutal aerial fight not far from mainland Casnia ensued, both fleets forgetting their main purpose--Archimedes.

Aboard the Himatz, the fighting had descended to the first level below the deck, where the Casnian troops defended tenaciously, with pillboxes and heavy artillery scattered throughout. The Latzovians began to airlift tanks onto the Himatz, in an effort to storm the first level. Upon discovering a storage room of frozen food near the centre of the first level, General Marl directed all of his forces to seize the room, upon which the Casnians redeployed all their troops to the defence of the storage room.

Meanwhile, Cynthia and Archimedes landed in mainland Latzovia. The King of Latzovia and his strategists were overjoyed and in a panic, asked Archimedes to give advice on how to overrun the Himatz, as they were suffering heavy casualties. Archimedes, however, demanded that he have a full feast and ten hours of sleep before he reveal it since he was really hungry and tired. He then finally reveals that there was a hidden elevator to the control room on the first level, so well hidden that not even the Casnians knew about it. Taking out his blueprints, he spent a few hours studying it to find the elevator that he had drawn in. Upon finding it, the information was relayed to General Marl, who had already seized the storage rooms. A squadron of troops were sent to take control of the control room (under dire warnings not to play chess along the way), upon which they came to the control room and took the Casnian generals by surprise, who were ironically playing chess. The troops had fun messing around with the controls before finally activating the self-destruct function (a feature that Archimedes always includes on his large-scale projects).

Ending: Himatz sinks, the Latzovian troops leave and return to Latzov ("attack Casnia? why? we have Archimedes back now. Why do we want them to surrender?"). Everybody lives happily ever after. Amusement parks are re-installed on Avovia. The end.